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Jeremy Predicts Your 2021

After the mess that was 2020 we are sure you are excited to see what 2021 has in store. Well wonder no longer! The 2021 Jeremy horoscope is here to (inaccurately) predict your 2021.

Aquarius: You will point your telescope at Venus and discover the alien life they were talking about in 2020. Wow! You will later realise it was Grogu (Baby Yoda) using your microwave to heat up chicken nuggets which messed up your data.

Pisces: You will convince your friends to watch your favourite shows (they are the best after all) but you manage to overhear spoilers for the new series of those shows... CENSORED is really a villain in WandaVision.

Aries: When Opportunity comes, you will embrace it with good Spirit while approaching it with Curiosity and knowing it may take Perseverance to succeed. You will watch closely over the events on the Warrior Planet known as Mars this year as it will have significant impacts on physics in 2021.

Taurus: COVID struck so you won't be able to complete your experimental lab on campus and you will decide to have a go at home. However, your at-home physics experiments will always go wrong. You will lose count of how many times you set fire to your couch trying experiments this year.

Gemini: Your knowledge of physics will improve but that won't help reduce your clumsiness. Gravity means things will still fall and conservation of momentum means objects will still move when you knock it. You are still a victim of physics.

Cancer: You will regularly have the time to cook your favourite meal to bring to uni for lunch. Just as you get to the top of nanoscience to warm up your food, a queue will alway seem to magically appear when you are trying to heat it up.

Leo: Your friends will get annoyed at you for pointing out scientific inaccuracies in movies (Why do the spaceships even line up the right way in space battles? Why do they try and boil water on a bunsen burner on safety flame?) but at least they will be well educated.

Credit: Illustrated Fiction/Paramount+/CBS

Virgo: Your timetable will line up perfectly so you can attend every PhySoc event this year (including the talk coming soon). However, every time there is an event you will forget there is free food and pack your lunch anyway.

Libra: You will stay up late to finish Mastering Physics and achieve full marks for your hard work. The next day you will be quite tired and you will fall asleep in zoom lectures AGAIN. While you'll need to catch up, at least you will be well-rested.

Scorpio: You learned Python over the summer. You will discover the physics comp labs are in MATLAB. To put your skills to use you will use a Raspberry-Pi to make a weather station to 'predict' the weather. It isn't quite right and you will always end up wearing jeans on a shorts-weather day.

Sagitarius: You embrace your inner Sherlock and deduce that the refractive index of glass is in fact 5... You will then decide to work on your deduction abilities.

Capricorn: You will remember what rooms your physics tutes are in but you still won't be able to remember where the lecture theatres are since they've been renamed in 2020. But, you won't need to worry about it because lectures are online.

- Sam

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Cover image: We Mystic


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